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  • Writer's pictureDezerrae Sanchez

I feel...pissed?

What better topic to discuss on a Monday than conflict resolution.

Effective communication is essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships. However, disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. When conflict arises, it is crucial to communicate in a way that does not cause harm or further escalate the situation. One effective way to communicate during conflict is to use "I" statements. "I" statements are a type of communication technique that focuses on expressing one's own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs without blaming or attacking the other person. The idea behind using "I" statements is to take ownership of one's own thoughts and emotions rather than placing the blame on others. For example, instead of saying, "You always make me feel like I am not good enough," an "I" statement would be, "I feel insecure and unsure of myself when I receive criticism." In this way, the speaker is taking responsibility for their own emotions rather than accusing the other person of causing them. Using "I" statements can help to defuse conflict by allowing each person to express themselves without feeling attacked or blamed. This technique also helps to foster empathy and understanding by allowing each person to see the situation from the other's perspective. Of course, simply using "I" statements isn't enough to guarantee healthy conflict. It's also important to approach the conversation with a mindset of openness, curiosity, and respect. This means listening actively to the other person's perspective and trying to understand where they're coming from, even if we don't agree with them. It also means avoiding personal attacks, insults, and sticking to the issue at hand. It's also important to be willing to compromise and find a solution that works for everyone involved. This means being open to new ideas and perspectives, and being willing to consider different options and approaches. It may also mean being willing to apologize or admit when we're wrong, and being willing to make changes in our own behavior in order to improve the relationship. It is essential to also have healthy conflict resolution skills. Healthy conflict resolution involves understanding the root causes of the conflict, listening actively, being respectful, and seeking compromise. It is important to approach conflict resolution with an open mind and a willingness to understand the other person's point of view. One way to approach conflict resolution is to use the acronym "R.E.S.O.L.V.E.": R - Recognize the problem: Acknowledge that a conflict exists and identify the specific issue that needs to be addressed. E - Empathize with the other person: Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their perspective. S - State your position using "I" statements: Express your thoughts and feelings in a way that does not attack or blame the other person. O - Offer a solution: Work together to find a compromise or solution that addresses both parties' needs. L - Listen actively: Be attentive and receptive to the other person's thoughts and feelings, and seek clarification if needed. V - Validate the other person's perspective: Acknowledge the other person's feelings and point of view, even if you do not agree with them. E - End on a positive note: Make an effort to maintain a positive relationship and express appreciation for the other person's efforts to resolve the conflict. By using the R.E.S.O.L.V.E. method, individuals can effectively communicate during conflicts and work towards a resolution that satisfies both parties. In addition to using "I" statements and having healthy conflict resolution skills, it is also important to be mindful of one's own emotions during conflict. Emotions can run high during conflicts, and it is easy to become reactive and say things that are hurtful or damaging to the relationship. One way to be mindful of one's emotions during conflict is to practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or grounding skills. These techniques can help to calm the mind and reduce feelings of anger or frustration. Another way to be mindful of emotions during conflict is to take a break if needed. Sometimes, conflicts can become too heated, and it is necessary to step back and take a break to cool down. This can help to prevent saying things that may cause further harm or damage to the relationship. What is one area you would like to utilize conflict resolution skills in day to day life?


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